Does size really matter?

"Dear Housewife,

Not so much related to actual sexual activity, but it makes a guy pretty paranoid that his penis can't satisfy his woman, and she's lying by saying that it does, and telling all her friends about it as if it were as important as a shoe sale or something. lol.
Most women don't brag or joke about their man's penis, or even bring it up with their friends, do they?
I mean that's pretty cruel to make an issue of it if men are to be made to believe that size doesn't matter."

Dumped for having an orgasm?!

"Dear Housewife,

I have just been dumped so suddenly by a guy who I thought everything was going well with. In fact he seemed more keen to see me all the time and we spent a lovely weekend just past in the country.
He said it was because there was no spark and that it wasnt quite there - which I am reading means : I was bad in bed. I thought our sex was good and getting better every time?! And I had no problem coming to a climax, although the last time we had sex he suddenly stopped because he didnt want to climax yet and asked me if I had already come - to which I replied yes because I had - his response to me was "well f**k you then", and with his tone I couldnt work out if he was joking or not.
I thought he would be happy that I did, clearly not!
The next day he dumped me, and I am very confused and very hurt. I'll get over it of course, but my confidence has taken a massive hit because it is not the first time I have been dumped out of the blue.
Just so you know, I am not a corpse in bed and I really do enjoy sex.
So confused, I'd be grateful for any answer you have.
Thank you."

Interested in a co-worker.. What to do?

"Dear Housewife,

Ok I’m going to try and keep this fairly short but give you all the info because I’m really at a loss at the moment.

I started a new job about three months ago. Since I started I have liked this guy (he's 24, i'm 21) who works on reception and is a kind of odd job guy. I work on the next floor up. So although we work at the same place and for the same company, we don’t work in the same department and we don’t work closely together.

He is what most people would describe as kind of a geek is guess. He’s intelligent, funny, good looking, a bit of an awkward person sometimes and has even admitted to me that he lacks self confidence.

We have been flirting for months now. We’ve found out that we have loads in common from our sense of humour to music we like and tv we watch. I think we both make excuses to talk to each other about work stuff when we don’t really need to and we email each other about nothing really important just so that we can chat. In short I really really like him and I’m sure he likes me.
However, I don’t think either of us has the confidence to approach the other about taking this outside of work and getting to know each other better. I think he has made a few attempts at trying to work the conversation round to meeting up. Like once we were chatting and he said something about him being different outside of work and it was only when I mulled the conversation over a while later that I realised it could have been an opening.

We don’t really have any friends in common at work that can slip a few hints or anything like that and I would rather keep this out of the work gossip and just get to know each other and see how things go without anyone knowing.

The one person at work I have told is a girl who I work closely with, go to lunch with etc and I know she wouldn’t tell anyone else. I have thought about sending her in (so to speak) to drop a few hints etc but I don’t know if that will work.
I would really appreiciate any insight you have and any suggestions as to how to move this forward.

Many thanks!"

Getting over boyfriend's past lovers

"Dear Housewife,

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly seven months now, and he is great. He constantly tells me that I am the best girlfriend he has ever had and that no one has ever made his life so complete. I truly love him and I feel like we have an awesome thing going for us. However I have recently not been able to get his past sexual partners out of my mind. I was a virgin when I met him and he has a past with 7 other girls. All but two were one time things, but they still really bother me. I don’t know how to let the past be the past with this. I constantly feel compared or judged, even though he has never said anything but positive feedback.

In a conversation we were having about his (somewhat crazy) ex girlfriend he said how I was so much better than her at sex, which I felt really good about because a comment he made earlier made it seem as though the best time he ever had with a girl was one of the girls he had dated for quite a while. However this was not the case, as the conversation continued I finally asked which one was the best, and he reluctantly told me that it was first girl A and then after her girl B would be the second best. So you can imagine my awkwardness and heartbreak. I mean what should I expect? He’s the only person I’ve ever had sex with and yet these girls could have countless partners.

I don’t want to ruin this otherwise near perfect relationship that I have with someone so amazing because of something like this. I know a relationship is built on so much more than sex but it really has me bothered beyond belief right now.


Thank you!"

 

A new relationship with built in kids.. HELP!

"Dear Housewife,

You seem very nice, so please forgive me for this long ass message!! :-)

A little about my b/f and I: My boyfriend is 44 and has 4 young kids; 5, 7, 8, and 15. The 3 youngest are from his previous marriage. (He left that marriage to be with me) I am 23 with no kids (don't plan on having any anytime soon).

1) When the divorce was finalized, The X got awarded the section 8 and my b/f got a good amount of custody with the kids. He gets them M-F from 7am-8pm, with either Tues or Weds off. He also gets them 3 weekends out of 4 a month. Well, since he lost the section 8 house, he had no where to go, so I let him stay with me. He would have his kids on a few of the days on his turn, just because it was too far for the X to drive (30 minutes 1 way). When we did have them, I noticed a lot of flaws, I guess, with the kids: they were rude, never said please or thank you, Dad (my b/f) lets them snack all day, and didn't pick up after themselves. They always feel entitled to something they want. I let my b/f know about it and how it was a problem for me, and he always thinks I'm being critical. He replies that "They are just kids!" I don't find that to be an excuse at all. Am I being critical? Am I too harsh? Should I put my 2 cents in?

2) I have a problem with him talking to the X about what my b/f is doing. He'll tell her about our life and his, he'll ask for her advice and he doesn't even take mine. Just a month ago, he couldn't stand her, now he is telling her our life. He said she's compassionate. That really troubled me because I'm trying to be his everything and he has to run to the X for compassion! It seems every good thing about me comes with 3 bad things. Should I be offended? I feel a bit uncomfortable with him talking to her like this. Am I justified in my feelings?

3) My b/f offered the kids to stay the weekend of the 4th, and he didn't discuss it with me. They came over Sunday night and didn't leave until Tues before work. I was pissed because he didn't discuss it with me (since he is in my apt and its our vacation weekend). I was expecting to relax on our paid vacation weekend. He did it again the following Thurs! I had already asked him to discuss it with me the first time he did it. Am I not being a REAL woman for my b/f since I don't want to take on the responsibility of his kids? Our parenting techniques are so different and I didn't feel like fighting about it or being really uncomfortable since I can't tell his kids what to do.

4) Last, my b/f blamed me for the kids not being able to come over the weekend after the 4th because I wanted a break. His X just finished bitching him out for not being able to take his kids on his turn, because I wanted a break. After he finished having a yelling match with his X, I went to go tend to him, seeing if he's okay and he says "It's your fault! It's your fault that my kids aren't able to come over because you don't want to be bothered!" I told him not to make me out as the bad guy. Am I? Is it my fault?

HELP!!! PLEASE!!!"

 

My boyfriend hits me

"Dear Housewife,

My boyfriend hit me once while he was drunk...because I went out with a "slut" to a party.
He was scared that I'll turn into her. Pretty insecure boyfriend there, but the fact that he hit me wasnt good.
I stopped talking to him for a week and he came back begging for me, so I got back with him. He said he would never do that to me again.

There's this guy in our class (me and my boyfriend are classmates) who likes me, and hes my boyfriend's friend. My boyfriend dosent like him much just because that friend flirts with me.
All three of us went on a car ride and I didnt know my boyfriend was drunk. When I asked his friend for a cigarette..(actually was kidding and I dont smoke) my boyfriend got angry and he started hitting me and I cried.
I went back home and stopped talking to him again. It's been three days, but the problem is that I really love him, but hate him for hitting me for no reason.
He just went on hitting me again and again until we reached my home.
His friend was scared that he just drove fast so that I could escape. Now, I just want to know how long should I ignore him for what he did? I dont want to break up because I really love him and hes my first boyfriend.
I feel pathetic please help.
We've been together for two years and this is the second time he repeated the same mistake.
I hope if I allow no contact for awhile, that he might change but I need your help."

What To Do About Steven? - Follow up question

If you have not yet read the first posting in this series of questions by this particular reader, please do so here first.

"Dear Housewife,

Hello again!Well, you were so helpful to me before, and I have to admit, I'm still very confusesd about Steven.

Well, I did take your advice and told him how I felt about him. He said in reply that he does like me and does want to date me, and he thought that he was ready to. But, Steven said, he's not ready to and he has to see what he's already in with Katherine through. Honourable, right?
Well, then I told him that I'd be willing to wait for him until he's ready. Steven said he doesn't want to keep me waiting, as he's ''planning'' on being with Katherine for a while.
Lastly, Steven said that if I'm there at the end, then that's great,because he does like me, but if I'm not, then he'll understand. And that was that.

Now then, I took your other advice and kind of kept my distance from him for a few days. Then I get a text from him in regards to a tattoo I told him I was planning on getting for my birthday. He asked me what it was of (a chalice surronded by a crown of thorns) he said, ''Ooh, sexy.'' Bit of a strange response, yes?

The thing that I'm completely unsure of is this: you see, my birthday is on Wednesday, and I'm having a party. Prior to these events taking place, I invited Steven, and he said that he would love to come; he said that he still wants to see me. I asked him after everything happened if he still wanted to come, and he said of course, like it was silly of me to ask. So he undoubtedly wants to come..so then, what should I do?"

Worried about girlfriend

"Dear Housewife,

I've been dating this girl for about 10 weeks. I'm 28 and shes 25.
We've both been in and out of town alot, and really have been on only about 5 real dates, and a few airport pickups and drop offs.
We haven't slept together since we've gotten back since out latest trips. She has seemed to be real busy with work and friends.
It's been a week and we still havent gotten together, although we have continued to text. However, its been a day now and she hasnt returned my latest text, when she usually returns them within 10 minutes.
I'm not sure what I've done. Do you have an idea of whats going on here? Thanks!"

Is she using me?

"Dear Housewife,

I would like to trouble you a bit by posing my problem with a great expection to get some solution and guidelines from your kind expertise.
I, being 54 met this young and beautiful lady of 32, who had joined our work place, but in different department.
Intially for the first six months, she was doing great in her job, but later on went down with her output leading her to receiving warnings from the employer. Since she had been a very moody lady, she had no friends to talk to her.
We happened to meet over lunch and I being very experienced helped her to come out of her problems related to job. This helped her to turn the table and she again began to discharge her duties exceedingly well. This entire process brought us together and we began to go for walks, coffees and dinner in the late evenings. This led me to fall in love with her.
With my age and experiences, I saw that she used to flirt with me, bite my fingers, pull my hair etc etc. I am a loner by myself, and one evening, I took her hand in mine to feel secure and also to be closer to her.
On that, she got very upset and told me that she hated my this behavior and she would never approve me of getting physical with her. She told me that she treated me only as a good friend and she never saw me from otherwise angle.
It was a rude shock to me, as she used to fly with me to exotic places, including abroad, to get gifts and also sometime cash. I had told her before that I have non with me and she would be handling everything of my life and I am all hers. She used to simple laugh away on that. After a few days, she came and flirted with me through her eys and as usual, I was behind her. We sat together and the same thing was repeated. I will do the same, and she would insult me. This process led to my reaching nowhere, and I was completely sucked up into vacuum. I felt terrible.
Then all of a sudden, she would invite me for a walk and like a fool, I would follow the suit.

One evening, when she was with me at Lyon, France at my own full expenses (she stayed in a separate room at my cost), I had a clear word with her on this matter. She did not change her stand and told me that she had never expected this thing from me. She agreed that whatever I was doing was natural but she was helpless on the matter.
Slowly, she reduced talking to me on mobile, and texting too. Also, if I called her up in the evening, and the call was unreplied, she would never ask me in the morning what was the reason to call her up.
Whenever I want to discuss our relationship with her, she keeps absolutely quiet and will not utter a word. This is now going for about 6 months. Now she and I have to go Spain for some office work and she is using me for getting all the things for her journey. I do not know how to handle her. I think she does not love me.
Is she using me? If she does not love me, why she taking all these favors from me?
Just yesterday, I happened to meet her late evening: We looked at each other, and I lost my control. I went ahead and kissed her on her forehead two times. She just kept quiet. After that, I told her that I had an emergent situation to discuss with her. That was regarding my career. But then she had some really urgent stuff to take care. She promised to revert to me this morning by 10 over coffee in a cafe in our office.
I waited for her, and then returned to my cabin. When I got a bit upset on her indifferent attitude to my problem, she came and said sorry but no explanation.
Could you please help me out to know what is going on here?
Let me tell you, I am not interested in having sex (intercourse) with her. I just love her and I want a lot of closeness with her. I want to feel her, and nothing more. I have told this to her numerous times."

Is Amy Interested?

"Dear Housewife,

I am living with my sister temporarily until I head off for graduate school.
I find one of my sister's former roommates attractive- lets call her Amy.
Each week a group of us (including Amy) meet together to watch a TV series.
On several occasions, Amy has found opportunities for physical contact (touching the arm, leg, etc.) I decided I would ask her out for lunch. Lunch went well. Conversation flowed.
A week later my sister had a birthday party to which she was invited. She briefly said hello but spent the majority of the time talking to other girls/guys at this party.

Meanwhile, I met another girl named Jennifer. Without knowing, Jennifer and Amy work in the same office.
I took Jennifer out to lunch and Amy just so happened to be there. Amy played it off. But within an hour of seeing her, she sent me a text asking me "how the date was?"
I clearly like Amy more than Jennifer and wanted her to know that. So I blew off my lunch date with Jennifer as a "friend date".
I persisted and asked Amy out again for lunch. She agreed.
During the date the topic of relationships/dating came up. Considering we are both near the "age of marriage", we laughed at how our parents feed us dating advice.
Amy related an experience when her mom told her that if she wanted to grab a boy's attention, she should touch him on the arm.
This is my question: Taking into account her behavior in the various situations described, is she interested? And what should be my next step?"

What To Do About Steven?

"Dear Housewife,

 How are you? I'm 23, from Sydney, Australia. I'm caught in a terrible pickle, and I need your help to figure out this crazy riddle.

You see, there's this bloke that I've had a crush on for a while named Steven.
When I met him, I knew he already had a female companion, so I backed off in that aspect and just remained his mate. Well, about a month ago, we were talking on the mobile and he was telling me that he had a crush on me, and has for a few months now -about the same time that I started to fancy him, too!
Well, I was flabbergasted, mate! I had no idea he fancied me at all, I mean he was really good at hiding it.

Now of course, before I let myself get too excited, I asked about his lady companion. He said that they weren't really dating anymore. Now see, here's the complicated thing, here: her name is Katherine, and they were never really officially together, but Steven told me that they're not really dating anymore, but he's more or less still dealing with her, whatever that means. Now, I'm confused here! You're either with someone or you're not, you know? They're ''broken up,'' but I can tell his heart is still with her. Though, when he talks about her, he mostly doesn't have very nice things to say about her -and he said that he doesn't think that it'll last in the long run.

Now then, just a couple of nights ago, he said that he wanted to see me, so we went to a late movie. Steven was such a gentlemen;he opened every door for me, let me choose where we would sit at the movie, complimented my clothes, asked me lots of questions about myself, he even asked me what radio station I wanted to listen to when we were in the car, for cryin' out loud! Needless to say, I had a good time.

What I really liked was when he was taking me home. Again, he asked me lots of questions, leaned forward and really listened when I was talking, made intelligent conversation, he even stalled a little when his mum phoned him, just so he could spend extra time talking with me.

Then we both got out the car and he walked me to the door. Steven said, ''Now this is the most awkward part of the date,'' He gave me a hug, and I tell you, we were hugging for like, 5 minutes, until he said, ''I'm not gonna lie, I really wanna kiss you right now, but only if you want me to.'' I said, ''I won't move.'' So I put my arms around his shoulders, and moved about half way -he met me the other half, and we enjoyed a nice kiss.

Then he hugged me again and told me he was sorry about Katherine and his complicated situation with her. Then he said after the kiss that he couldn't promise anything would come of that kiss. But yet, he said that he likes me and does want me. He left at this point, and he asked me to text him in the morning.

Just yesterday, he sent me a text asking how I was doing, and after some casual conversation, he said that he thinks he and Katherine are going to get back together, and that he felt really bad. He said he felt bad if he hurt me, and that he couldn't talk then so he would text me later. Next day he did message me saying that he's sorry for hurting me, and that he wasn't trying to be a cheater or anything, because they were broken up when we had our date. Steven then went on to say that he does like me and does want to be with me, but he has to finish things with Katherine first. I said that I understood and that I could wait my turn, and he said thank you.

What should I do? I mean, I'm trying to do the respectful and responsible thing here, and not go there with him while he's with Katherine. The situation's pretty much out of my hands at this point, but I really do like him. Please help me, where can I go from here?"

Girlfriend's Lack Of Interest In Sex

"Dear Housewife,

How do I help my girlfriend become more comfortable and more interested in sex?
We have been together for 2 and a half years and she is uncomfortable even talking about it."