What To Do About Steven?

"Dear Housewife,

 How are you? I'm 23, from Sydney, Australia. I'm caught in a terrible pickle, and I need your help to figure out this crazy riddle.

You see, there's this bloke that I've had a crush on for a while named Steven.
When I met him, I knew he already had a female companion, so I backed off in that aspect and just remained his mate. Well, about a month ago, we were talking on the mobile and he was telling me that he had a crush on me, and has for a few months now -about the same time that I started to fancy him, too!
Well, I was flabbergasted, mate! I had no idea he fancied me at all, I mean he was really good at hiding it.

Now of course, before I let myself get too excited, I asked about his lady companion. He said that they weren't really dating anymore. Now see, here's the complicated thing, here: her name is Katherine, and they were never really officially together, but Steven told me that they're not really dating anymore, but he's more or less still dealing with her, whatever that means. Now, I'm confused here! You're either with someone or you're not, you know? They're ''broken up,'' but I can tell his heart is still with her. Though, when he talks about her, he mostly doesn't have very nice things to say about her -and he said that he doesn't think that it'll last in the long run.

Now then, just a couple of nights ago, he said that he wanted to see me, so we went to a late movie. Steven was such a gentlemen;he opened every door for me, let me choose where we would sit at the movie, complimented my clothes, asked me lots of questions about myself, he even asked me what radio station I wanted to listen to when we were in the car, for cryin' out loud! Needless to say, I had a good time.

What I really liked was when he was taking me home. Again, he asked me lots of questions, leaned forward and really listened when I was talking, made intelligent conversation, he even stalled a little when his mum phoned him, just so he could spend extra time talking with me.

Then we both got out the car and he walked me to the door. Steven said, ''Now this is the most awkward part of the date,'' He gave me a hug, and I tell you, we were hugging for like, 5 minutes, until he said, ''I'm not gonna lie, I really wanna kiss you right now, but only if you want me to.'' I said, ''I won't move.'' So I put my arms around his shoulders, and moved about half way -he met me the other half, and we enjoyed a nice kiss.

Then he hugged me again and told me he was sorry about Katherine and his complicated situation with her. Then he said after the kiss that he couldn't promise anything would come of that kiss. But yet, he said that he likes me and does want me. He left at this point, and he asked me to text him in the morning.

Just yesterday, he sent me a text asking how I was doing, and after some casual conversation, he said that he thinks he and Katherine are going to get back together, and that he felt really bad. He said he felt bad if he hurt me, and that he couldn't talk then so he would text me later. Next day he did message me saying that he's sorry for hurting me, and that he wasn't trying to be a cheater or anything, because they were broken up when we had our date. Steven then went on to say that he does like me and does want to be with me, but he has to finish things with Katherine first. I said that I understood and that I could wait my turn, and he said thank you.

What should I do? I mean, I'm trying to do the respectful and responsible thing here, and not go there with him while he's with Katherine. The situation's pretty much out of my hands at this point, but I really do like him. Please help me, where can I go from here?"

Dear Reader,

It does seem as though you are in a pickle, and I really feel for your situation.


Steven seems like a great and upstanding guy because he is being honest with you and acknowledging his and your feelings towards the situation, and you have to give him credit for that, and for the fact that he doesn't want to cheat.

At this point, I would let him know about your feelings for him, so that he is aware.

If he decides that he would like to continue with Katherine, then as much as it might be difficult, I would put him out of mind.

If it comes to pass in the future that you two get together, then that would be great, but keeping your distance would be the best idea in order for him to make a decision to whether or not to continue with Katherine or to end their relationship for the two of you to make a go at it.
 
 
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