How to cope with husband being gay/bi/transexual?

"Dear Housewife,

I'm married to a younger man who thinks he may be bisexual. My husband is 24 and I'm 42. We've been married for almost two years.

How does the saying go? If hind sight were 20/20… Well if it were I wouldn't be married to him today.
I still love him but its been seven months since we've shared the same bed or had sex. I'm more of a mother figure and a friend to him than I am his wife, and he agrees with me.

The first year or so of our marriage was very good but it went down hill when I discovered the things he was hiding on our home computer. He was visiting a lot of fetish websites for smoking, transexuals, and a crossdressing.
After many hours of discussing the things on the computer, he confessed to having a sexual fascination with women that smoke. For your information, when we got married, I was a smoker and he was a non-smoker.

In addition to the porn and fetish websites he had also joined an on-line dating site and was presenting himself as a woman who smokes. He was communicating by email with five different men who knew him as Dana.
I asked him point blank if he was gay and he denied it. He said it was just fantasy stuff and that it didn't mean anything and he loved me. After more discussion, it turns out the fantasy stuff is a life long thing for him.

When he was a boy and lived at home he'd dress up in his mother's clothes and pretend to smoke her cigarettes. He promised me that he had never smoked and had stopped wearing women's clothes when he left home for college.
None of what he said made any sense to me. I am a heterosexual woman who is addicted to cigarettes and I see nothing sexy about smoking like a woman! Its a foul and disgusting habit and I wish I didn't have to do it.

I made my husband move into the guest room that very day and he's slept there ever since. After that I started researching his issues on the web and I began to get more sympathetic.
I've spent the last seven months helping my husband become the woman he's always dreamed of being. I've helped him with his clothes and make-up. I've bought him breast-forms and a wig. I've even taught him how to walk, talk, and even smoke like a woman.
He quit his job and took another job where he can work out of the house with me. All of our neighbors know and its an embarrassment to me. I love him as a best friend and I want to stay married to him but I'm not sexually attracted to him any more.

I did something I kind of regret. I encouraged my husband to start dating men. I said it was the only way he'd know for sure whether or not he was bisexual. I was thinking about him but I wasn't thinking about myself or how it would affect me.
My husband had his first sleep-over last night. He stayed at his "boyfriend's" house, and from what he said, apparently his boyfriend made a woman out of him last night and he liked it. So where does that leave me?

I wrote you because I saw where you are bisexual and have an open marriage with your husband.
Is there any thing you can tell me that will help me live with this?"

Sex Toys and Cross Dressing

"Dear Housewife,

I am a male of 25, and was a virgin until I met my girl friend. I am very much in love with my girl friend who is 32. We both look a lot younger than our ages. 
We have sex once a week . I have always been on the bottom never wanted to be on top. I have always enjoyed  her being on top because of her long hair and breasts being all over me. Besides she is taller and stronger then me She is one of those tall strong girls you see out there.
But she says I act like the woman in bed. Plus I can't be on top, it's too hard for me.
My legs and arms look so weak to hers. I always fall asleep with her still on top after I am done inside her. She wants to use a strap on sex toy on me too. It sounds fun but will this kind of sex toy hurt me?
I am average height but sort of petite build for a man and need my glasses. She is very pretty and tall.

Because of my smaller size she said I could pass as a women in stores with the right wig and make up. I do cross dress a home at times should I tell her about my women's clothes at home?
I love it when she wears a dress during sex too.. Do some women like to transform men to women?"