Trusting after an affair

"Dear Housewife,

My husband has been unfaithful in the past but is really trying to make it work with me. I believe he is.
He wants to go with his friends once in a while and I know I shouldn't care.
I tell him to go and want him to, but I am an emotional rollercoster for 2 days before and after. I don't want to be but I am.
I end up crying and he ends up saying he shouldn't have gone.
He is not staying late and calls me several times so I know exactly what is going on. I think he should be able to do things sometimes but I don't know why I get so upset. I cannot control my emotions!!"

Husband Cheating?

"Dear Housewife,

Hi, I think my case is a little complicated.

We married 5 years ago and there was one emotional affair which we talked about it and have solved ( as I think).
We recently immigrated to Australia and my husband repeatedly says that he likes to have sex with Asian women ( no one in particular) should I take this as an alarm?

I feel I lost my self esteem here and am not attractive to anyone while I see women are interested in him. I actually think if he cheats on me I can not fire back and should continue with him anyway and this makes me sick. Any advice?"

How to cope with husband being gay/bi/transexual?

"Dear Housewife,

I'm married to a younger man who thinks he may be bisexual. My husband is 24 and I'm 42. We've been married for almost two years.

How does the saying go? If hind sight were 20/20… Well if it were I wouldn't be married to him today.
I still love him but its been seven months since we've shared the same bed or had sex. I'm more of a mother figure and a friend to him than I am his wife, and he agrees with me.

The first year or so of our marriage was very good but it went down hill when I discovered the things he was hiding on our home computer. He was visiting a lot of fetish websites for smoking, transexuals, and a crossdressing.
After many hours of discussing the things on the computer, he confessed to having a sexual fascination with women that smoke. For your information, when we got married, I was a smoker and he was a non-smoker.

In addition to the porn and fetish websites he had also joined an on-line dating site and was presenting himself as a woman who smokes. He was communicating by email with five different men who knew him as Dana.
I asked him point blank if he was gay and he denied it. He said it was just fantasy stuff and that it didn't mean anything and he loved me. After more discussion, it turns out the fantasy stuff is a life long thing for him.

When he was a boy and lived at home he'd dress up in his mother's clothes and pretend to smoke her cigarettes. He promised me that he had never smoked and had stopped wearing women's clothes when he left home for college.
None of what he said made any sense to me. I am a heterosexual woman who is addicted to cigarettes and I see nothing sexy about smoking like a woman! Its a foul and disgusting habit and I wish I didn't have to do it.

I made my husband move into the guest room that very day and he's slept there ever since. After that I started researching his issues on the web and I began to get more sympathetic.
I've spent the last seven months helping my husband become the woman he's always dreamed of being. I've helped him with his clothes and make-up. I've bought him breast-forms and a wig. I've even taught him how to walk, talk, and even smoke like a woman.
He quit his job and took another job where he can work out of the house with me. All of our neighbors know and its an embarrassment to me. I love him as a best friend and I want to stay married to him but I'm not sexually attracted to him any more.

I did something I kind of regret. I encouraged my husband to start dating men. I said it was the only way he'd know for sure whether or not he was bisexual. I was thinking about him but I wasn't thinking about myself or how it would affect me.
My husband had his first sleep-over last night. He stayed at his "boyfriend's" house, and from what he said, apparently his boyfriend made a woman out of him last night and he liked it. So where does that leave me?

I wrote you because I saw where you are bisexual and have an open marriage with your husband.
Is there any thing you can tell me that will help me live with this?"

Husband not being a good father.. Help!

"Dear Housewife,

Hi! I fell in love with the perfect man: loving, honest, hard working, same basic goals as me, and very intelligent.
However, despite having discussed in tremendous length about how we would be as parents and what sort of values we had in parenting (before we tied the knot) my husband turned out not to be a fraction of the parent he claimed he wanted to be.
It may be because he came from a family of parents who didn't parent (hard workers who sent their kids off to boarding school or daycare 24/7...the kids were more of an after thought; their life came first and they just dragged the kids along into it)but he's very neglectful of our daughter.
She's 14 months now, but since she was little he shirks responsibility of taking care of her if we're out, he fails to remember anything about her routine (such as that she gets a bottle with her breakfast to hydrate her), and when he spends time with her he sits on the couch or computer and will literally spend an hour without saying one word to her.
I hate to say it, but by the standards of parenting I was expecting based on what we'd discussed before I agreed to marry him, he's TERRIBLE at being a father! I love who he is otherwise, but being a mother is my number one priority and regardless of how I feel about him, when he treats our daughter poorly it makes me dislike who he is as a person.
He'll go on business trips for weeks on end and come home, and say hi to me and give me a kiss, all the while our little girl is chirping "daddy! daddy!" excitedly but he won't say boo to her. I have to remind him to acknowledge her.
I'm horrified at his behavior, and feel sad and guilty because no kid deserves a dad like that and it's my fault for having started a family with him. The person I love the most (my daughter) is getting the short end of the stick because of a choice I made!
The fact is, I'm starting to fall out of love with him because of his lack of responsibility being a parent. I find it unappealing enough to overshadow all the good. I have talked to him about his behavior but he claims he just has a bad memory and can't remember to interact with her. Yet he's likely one of the most capable people on the planet if his aptitude tests are any indication, and his work towards his PhD. Yet as a family man he claims to not even remember to address his child when he comes home?

The second part of the problem is this: if I were to divorce him he would for sure get at the very least 1/2 custody. The reason being he's got a great job and amazing education, I have neither. I'm a university drop out and a stay at home mom. I also have some mental issues such as OCD and anxiety, both of which, at the outset, make me sound less qualified than him.
The truth is I am an amazing parent and incredibly capable person. but I know they'll have no reason not to give him at least half and frankly, if the reason I want to divorce him is because I think he's mistreating my daughter it doesn't make much sense to create a situation where he gets to spend exclusive time with her 50% or more of the time.
I feel sad, lost, guilty and determined to fix this. It seems like my only option is trying to make this marriage work....and by extension that means making his parenting work.
I want him to treat her like she's a person: to talk to her and interact with her and remember to feed her and dress her of he's alone with her (he "forgets" some times). I want him to be a co-parent when we're out so at a family dinner I have time to eat my meal and other members of the family don't give him weird looks for doing nothing but sitting back and drinking beer while his wife is chasing after his little girl 24/7.
I want him to smile and say hi to her when he comes home after a trip and scoop her up in his arms, rather than breezing past her.
How on earth can I remind him the type of parent he told me he was prepared to be when he got pregnant, and point out to him in a way he truly understands, that he's far from that mark now and for her sake it has to change, even if he has to fake it? What on earth can I do?
I want to save this family badly, for her sake, for my sake and for his."

Financial and Marital problems

"Dear Housewife,

Ok, I don't know where to start.
My husband and I have been together for 5 years now. We got married a year and a half ago, and had a baby a year ago.
We have filed bankruptcy but we are still having financial problems because he is not working full time hours. They send him home early a lot. He keeps saying he is going to look into getting a part time bouncing job at a bar, but I'm not too crazy about that.
Another thing is that he goes and hangs out at a friends house about once a month but does not come home until 3, 4, or 5 in the morning. He says he falls a sleep there.
I don't care if they go out or stay there, but he does not give me the respect to call or text me on how late he will be.
I will wake up in the middle of the night worrying about him. I text him, no answer, I call him, no answer. Last night he didn't get home until 5:15 a.m. and I'm so upset about it.
If I go out with a friend, I am usually home by midnight.
Should I be worried, should I kick him out even though I really don't want to split up the family?
He is not attempting to get another job to make more money, I work OT if I can, and I have applied for several part time jobs. I'm tired of doing it all. I'm just so confused on what I should do. He also got upset that I was going to be gone on Saturday because I had the chance to work some OT."

Needing two loves

"Dear Housewife,

My wife is celibate through choice and I find that I need another romance in my life. Not necessarily sex but a complete woman. I need a loving sexual woman. A celibate woman leaves a big gap in my life!"

Wife airing dirty laundry

Dear Housewife,

I have been married for a while, but early in the marriage I noticed that my wife airs our dirty laundry behind my back and to some degree when I am there.
I have told her I know and she denies it and argues. She nags me, blames me for everything, and if i argue with someone she wil not support me and even talks to them behind my back.
But as usual she blames me as I am the cause.
I tried speaking with her but she still blames me, nearly 20 years married, i am ready to walk out. I dont really want to, as she is good and loves my child.

Feeling Jealous

"Dear Housewife,

I got married 6 months, before marriage we know each other since 6 months,so its almost 1 year we know each other, our is an arranged marriage.

I have got a sister-In-Law, now she has come for her delivery.
Whenever my hubby talks very close with her or with any female i feel in secured.Especially when I'm in the office and my hubby goes with them leaving me, i feel very disgusted.
I do not know what exactly my stomach start growling. i feel somewhat.If i am also part of it i also enjoy the outing, even if they go out for something leaving me i feel very bad. I just cannot digest the fact that they are going without me.
If my hubby is not part of it i don't feel this bad, otherwise i feel very bad. I always want to be next to my hubby and i always want to be part of a group,i know I'm very possessive about him.

Even in my college days if someone ignores me in a conversation i used to feel very bad. Sometimes my hubby does to me Especially when he is talking to my Sister-In-Law he just ignores me or talks such topics where i am not related. I'm not complaining about my hubby but I'm not able to digest it.

Hope you understood my situation.
Please help me i know that i have got best family best hubby. But i don't know how to deal such situation.
Please give me some suggestions."